


Talk Dirty to Me

by rabidchild67



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Dirty Talk, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 21:15:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidchild67/pseuds/rabidchild67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim tries to teach Spock some filthy talk while they're in bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Dirty to Me

“Jesus, fuck! What you can do with your mouth! It’s like a fucking Hoover! Or a Hoover fucking – ah-ha-ha-ha-ha—OH!”

“Mmph.”

“Oh my… SHIT! Right there, you talented motherfucker.”

“Mmmm.”

“Suck my balls! Suck my balls! SUCK MY BALLS!”

“Hunh.”

“Yeeeeeaaaaahhhh, take it. Take it… Oh God! I’m gonna… I’m gonna…”

“Mmm. Mmmph. Huh-huh-huh.”

“Spock, baby, that was amazing. I think I need to go to one of those Captains’ retreats more often if this is the welcome home I get.”

“I wish you would not, Jim, as I feel your absence quite keenly.”

“Aww, you missed me?”

“Indeed.”

“C’mere for a kiss…”

“Mmmmm. Jim, now that you have climaxed, I would have a word.”

“Shoot.”

“I have noticed, when we are _in flagrante_ , that your vocalizations, while colorful, seem to spur your excitement with and enjoyment of our activity.”

“You mean the dirty talk? I hope you don’t find it offensive.”

“Oh no, to the contrary. I have also noticed that, in those circumstances when we must be, shall we say, less sonorous owing to our circumstances –“

“You mean like that time you took me backstage at last year’s Academy graduation? You sly mother –“

“That is a fine example, yes. As I was saying, on those occasion when you have had to curtail your enthusiasm, you seem to be enjoying it marginally less.”

“Yep, dirty talk turns me on.”

“In that case, might it be preferable if such utterances were to come from _my_ mouth?”

“I think I could come again right now at the very thought, Spock. God, I knew I fell in love with you for a reason.”

“I love you as well. Now, given that you would enjoy my use of certain language, I wonder if I might prevail upon you to help me… develop the skill for it?”

“You want me to teach you how to talk dirty?”

“Affirmative.”

“I dunno, Spock, it’s just kind of something that comes to me in the moment, you know?”

“I do not. On Vulcan, owing to our naturally taciturn natures as a people, we were discouraged from the use of superfluous language.”

“I see. Well, one way to start is to just describe what you’re feeling, or what you’d like me to do to you. If I were to demonstrate, I would say to you that I can’t wait to feel that massive measure of man-meat inside me, and I’d like you to ride me hard and put me away wet.”

“Fascinating. You have used a mixture of alliterative euphemism and equine metaphor to make your wishes known. Hmm…”

“Yeah, and I’d like you to get to fucking me right now, _por favor_. Besides, maybe if we’re doing it, you’ll be further inspired.”

“A sound proposition. Would you hand me the lubricant?”

“Sure.”

“Will you get into your favored position on all fours, please?”

“See, you’re already failing. Tell me how you want me. Be colorful.”

“Very well. I… uh…”

“You can do it, baby.”

“Present your buttocks to me, Jim, for I would insert my penis within your rectum.”

“OK, that’s not exactly getting me hot, but lucky for you, I’m easy. There we are. Now, go on - tell me what you're doing, how it feels.”

“I have now breached your sphincter, and I find its current level of elasticity to be quite agreeable. Do you not enjoy the sensation of my girth inside your body?”

“Better. And for the record, yeeeeaaaahhhh.”

“Furthermore, you will continue to accept the entirety of my enlarged penis, you fatherless cur!”

“Hey, hey, let’s not get personal, babe.”

“I apologize, was I too colorful?”

“Well, yeah, there’s a thin line between hot and insulting.”

“I am not sure I understand, but I will desist from personal sobriquets... My goodness, your orifice is at a very high temperature and has clearly been primed for intercourse. This is most stimulating.”

“You know it. I got ready just for you, baby. Nice and slick how you like it.”

“Behold, I appear to have inserted the entire length of my penis inside your body and my testicles are now in contact with your bottom. Do you not feel it?”

“UNF! Fuck me, Spock! Fuck me!”

“I find I enjoy the visual stimulation of your body accepting the whole of my penis, Jim. I shall repeat the maneuver, if I may.”

“Harderrrrrrrr!!!”

“I fear my staying power at this juncture, for the sensations I am experiencing are remarkably arousing.”

“Harderfuckme! Fuckmeharder!”

“I believe I shall.”

“God, Spock, urrrrgh!”

“…”

“Spock? You still with me?”

“I apologize, I was preoccupied with suppressing my climax for the moment. I would forewarn you that it is imminent.”

“Do what you gotta do, man.”

“You will repeat my appellation, you muliebrous canine.”

“What?”

“SAY MY NAME, BITCH!”

“SPOCKSPOCKSPOCK!!!”

“Yes, that is what I was referring to.”

\----

Thank you for your time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested: [Spockized t-shirt slogans](http://rabidchild67.livejournal.com/155767.html) that were created as a reaction to this story


End file.
